I am back in the swing of things at work, which is great for my livelihood but not so good for my writing. Thankfully, I love writing lists, and since it was both Hayao Miyazaki's birthday (happy 80th to the GOAT) and just another day on the internet (nerds having opinions about Wes Anderson, yours truly included), I wrote up some lists. I love making lists. And I hope you love reading (or arguing with, whichever suits your fancy) them.

Wes Anderson, Ranked

1. The Grand Budapest Hotel. It took me a long time to admit to myself that not only is it my favourite, but that it's a five-star film.

2. Moonrise Kingdom. Maybe I just like the cute/funny Wes movies rather than the sad ones.

3. Rushmore. The first one I saw. For a kid from the sticks, the movies Wes makes might has well have been set on Mars, but that was part of the appeal. What wasn't alien was kick-ass rock music, crushes on people I had no business having crushes on, and, in retrospect, being an annoying precocious asswipe.

4. The Royal Tenenbaums. Bet you 20 bucks this goes up two spots on rewatch.

5. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. See above. Might resonate with me more now that I'm over 30.

6. Fantastic Mr. Fox. Can't help but feel I lowballed this on the first go.

7. Bottle Rocket. Wes's first is his least quintessential, but I love how shaggy it is. Come back to us, Owen Wilson, all is forgiven.

8. Isle of Dogs. Uh, well... the dogs are cute? The sushi prep scene is cool? Strong weeb vibes coming off this one.

9. The Darjeeling Limited. Man, I don't want to talk about this one, this one's kinda of rough. I think it's the only complete misfire in the run.

Top 10 (Paul Thomas,Paul W.S.,Wes) Anderson Films

1. Boogie Nights. It's not the Great American Novel if there's no dick and no cocaine.

2. The Grand Budapest Hotel.

3. Inherent Vice. Up in smoke.

4. There Will Be Blood. I'm starting to suspect that PTA is attracted to these widescreen American tragedies with mad barons and charlatans and shit in them.

5. Moonrise Kingdom.

6. The Master. This is what Joaquin should have gotten his Oscar for. Either this or You Were Never Really Here.

7. Phantom Thread. Motherfucker really went and named his character "Woodcock," huh.

8. Rushmore.

9. The Royal Tenenbaums.

10. Event Horizon. Hell is outer space.

Hayao Miyazaki: A Tier List

• N/A: Porco Rosso, Ponyo. I'll get to them eventually, I swear.

• D tier: Hayao Miyazaki has never made anything less than good and to claim otherwise would be heresy of the highest order.

• C tier: Castle in the Sky. As with any of these lists, this is subjective, but this is the only one that doesn't, you know, move me.

• B tier: The Castle of Caglisotro, Kiki's Delivery Service, Howl's Moving Castle. The first one is really fun heist movie, and Howl might be Miyazaki's most phantasmagorical film, and yes, I'm aware Spirited Away is a thing.

• A tier: Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Spirited Away, The Wind Rises. I especially like The Wind Rises, because it's the most politically complex film of the bunch. What does it mean when the thing you love is turned into something that brings hell on Earth?

• S tier: My Neighbour Totoro, Princess Mononoke. Two perfect films, what can I say. Two very different way of communing with nature. Sometimes it comes to you softly, and sometimes it comes to you with a vengeance. Plus Totoro is south of God's Runtime, which as we all know, is 87 minutes.

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